But I tried my best

But I tried my best

I folded my hands,
prayed with a mouth full of sorrys,
but the echoes never answered back.
Maybe God got tired of my voice,
or maybe I ain’t deserve a reply.

I built a house out of love,
patched the walls with old wounds,
used my past for insulation,
but you still shivered inside.
I left the door wide open,
but you walked out anyway.
Said the foundation was cracked,
but damn,
what else was I supposed to build with
when all I had was broken things?

I gave you all my tomorrows,
wrapped ‘em in my ribs,
left space in my lungs
so you could breathe easy…
but I guess air ain’t enough
when the world asks for gold.

I showed up even when my hands shook,
even when my voice cracked,
even when my heart was a fist
punching through my own chest.
I gave you my time,
my body,
my last good nerve,
but somehow, I was always late,
always lacking,
always one step behind the love you needed.

I held on ‘til my fingers bled,
but you said my grip was never strong enough.
I spoke ‘til my throat ran dry,
but you said I never said the right things.
I stood in the fire just to keep you warm,
but you still shivered like my love was made of wind.

Maybe I was doomed from the start.
Maybe a boy who’s seen death too young,
who learned loss before love,
who heard bullets before bedtime stories,
who buried ghosts in his chest
and tried to call it healing
maybe he was never meant to be enough.

I wasn’t perfect.
I never will be.
But I tried.

And I tried.

And I tried.

But I guess my best
was never enough
to make you stay.