Trust

Trust.
A fragile yet powerful word, ain’t it?
A thread spun so delicately
Yet it snaps like a twig under the weight of betrayal.
You see, I’ve learned too many times
That trust is not a gift but a gamble
And some people
They gamble it like they’ve got nothing to lose.

I’ve been there.
Standing in the wreckage of what I thought was solid ground
Only to feel it crumble beneath me
Because someone I let in
Someone I believed in
Decided to test the strength of my heart
And found it too forgiving, too soft.

They always say sorry after, don’t they.
As if sorry can glue the pieces back together
As if sorry can erase the memory
Of the knife they twisted in my back.
But here’s the truth
Sorry is just a bandage on a bullet wound
And trust doesn’t heal the same way skin does.

I take trust seriously.
It’s not a toy.
It’s not something you borrow for a moment
And return when you’re done breaking it.
It’s a part of me
My heart, my soul, my belief in you.
And when you shatter it
You don’t just lose my trust.
You lose the part of me that saw you as safe.

I’ve had experiences, most definitely.
People who smiled with their mouths
While their hands carried daggers
People who spoke promises so sweet
I thought they could only be true.
But lies have a way of tasting like honey
Until they turn bitter in the back of your throat.

When someone breaks my trust
They don’t get the same version of me again.
They don’t get the warmth, the openness
The part of me that believed in their goodness.
They get a wall
A fortress built brick by brick
With every lie, every betrayal, every moment I doubted myself
Because I trusted someone who didn’t deserve it.

And the thing about walls
They don’t come down easily.
You can apologize.
You can cry.
You can beg me to let you in
But I won’t.
Not like before.
Not when I’ve already seen
What you’re capable of.

Trust is sacred to me.
It’s the foundation of every bond
The root of every connection.
When you break it
You’re not just breaking a promise
You’re breaking the belief that I mattered to you
That I was worth your honesty
That I was worth your care.

It’s not revenge.
It’s not bitterness.
It’s self-preservation.
Because once I’ve been burned
I won’t touch the flame again.
I won’t hand you the matches
And hope this time you’ll be careful.

And don’t get me wrong
I’ll forgive you, in time.
But forgiveness isn’t a key to the door you locked behind you.
It’s just my way of letting go
So I can move forward without the weight of your betrayal
Dragging me down.
But you
You’ll stay on the other side of that door
Looking in, wondering why the warmth is gone
Why my smile doesn’t reach my eyes anymore
Why you don’t hear my laughter
The way you used to.

You see, trust isn’t just about you and me.
It’s about the scars I carry from the people before you
The ones who taught me that love, friendship, and loyalty
Are not always as they seem.
It’s about the nights I spent awake
Replaying the moments where I should’ve known better
Where I should’ve been smarter.
It’s about me now
Protecting the last bits of trust I have left
Saving them for someone who won’t see them as a game.

So if you ask why it’s not the same anymore
Why I don’t laugh like I used to
Why the light in my eyes seems dimmer
Just know
Trust was never meant to be taken lightly
And once you’ve broken it
There’s no going back to what was.

You can have my forgiveness
But you’ll never have me the same way again.