Indifference (A Palestinian Tribute)
indifference
math has always been my weakness
I could never wrap my head around algorithms or differences.
always knew I’d be destined for the arts when in 3rd grade we took timed exams
meticulously browsing through the problems.
I thought to myself—
do I carry the one or take from 2.
*
I stumbled along the way, deciding to remain indifferent to math,
because my mind couldn’t grasp,
the impetus and revelry in solution,
the chasm between
one way streets
and
bustling stack interchanges.
*
I knew by middle school;
math was going to be a shitty class.
when fractions and multiplication became
incomplete questions,
algebraic-based lessons.
teacher says—
there’s only one solution,
when you divide x from both sides
one cancels
then you are left with your answer.
*
I instead decided to spend class on youtube,
seated in the back watching NBA highlights—
inconspicuous, separated from the limelight.
one constant remained,
I was never going to be a mathematician,
and my indifference for math would stay the same, resulting from ignorant
presupposition
*
in high school I sat in math class
drowned in TikTok’s endless algorithm—
now meaning more than just equation—
meaning separation,
meaning endless clicks on
meritless clips,
comment sections full of additions of vitriol,
differences of understanding.
*
until I stumbled upon another video of smoke filling a hospital,
another tragic headline,
another deleterious story,
minimal media air time.
additions of IDF strikes,
differences of brown bodies,
multiplied white particles,
division of complete families
leaving mixed numbers and incomplete equations.
*
I remained:
indifferent,
justifying proclaimed
defense,
projecting an apostasy weakness.
until air strikes multiplied,
headlines - difference,
aid placed in parentheses,
preventing the addition of
humanity—
while past the equal sign,
stands a mighty, strong nation,
Israel says:
add to both sides,
find the only solution.
is it really equality
if an addition of 10 behind the equal sign results in numbers
still deep into the negatives?
equals:
contradiction
*
plight and strikes equals famine and strife.
if you subtract famine from plight it cancels out the inhumanity,
leaving strikes on already sunken ground.
if you divide strikes and strife, you find Palestinians by themselves,
helplessly basking in profligate erasure.
remaining indifferent is a staple of the West,
but bodies bound by rubble,
children turned into targets,
aid turning into weaponry—
demands additions of
coverage.
solving the equation starts with recognizing that x must equal x,
that one is not less than,
that the other isn’t greater.
subtracting bombs from bodies,
adding supplies into Gaza,
subtracting hatred from rhetoric,
adding accountability to indifference.
dividing each side by understanding and deliberation.
however,
the answer:
undefined
*
because there is no single definition for justice,
no parentheses that carry over equity,
no order of operations that ensure one outweighs another.
a difference of lives for some,
means indifference in lives for others.
but silence—
subtracts
humanity—
how the world watched as millions of Jews were slaughtered.
how the world watched as hundreds of thousands of Armenians erased.
privilege makes just watching feel a whole lot like movie night,
gathered around the television as
53 more killed,
no more food
how much longer can they will?
*
privilege feels a whole lot like trying to solve math problems that have no solutions,
trying to print history with permanent conclusions.
not knowing history is a whole lot like
x squared, plus
y squared, equals
r squared.
that complete functions have the same answer
everytime:
genocide.
*
as I sit in class I no longer feel indifferent,
I pay a little extra attention to how many times x goes into 2,
because in another universe from privilege,
lays endless layers of fighting,
all because we fail to understand that—
x always equals x when solving the equation of humanity.
copyright micah hill 2025
